Always
by breeography
Summary: Twilight one-shot. AU, after New Moon. Bella remembers her last goodbye.


_I never thought in a million years that I'd write a decent Twilight one-shot. I found this the other day and read through it--very shocked that the writing was half-way decent. This one-shot takes place in AU, after New Moon. I wrote it before Eclipse and Breaking Dawn came out, so yeah. It's pretty decent, so I hope you guys like it. C/C is encouraged. Love you all, Aubree._

**Title**: Always Twilight One-Shot  
**Author: **breeography Aubree  
**Rating**: T  
**Warnings:**: None  
Pairing: Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella  
**Summary**: AU, after New Moon. Bella remembers her last good-bye.

**Always  
**_**A One-Shot Twilight Fanfiction**_  
_By Aubree_

Have you ever noticed how time can fade so quickly when you're not exactly all there in mind, body and soul? I'd felt like that every single day for twenty years. Twenty long, empty years.

Edward left me broken, confused… without much of an explanation. I was nineteen and he was… well, he was the same as he'd been for over a hundred years. I expected Edward to turn me into a vampire. Carlisle and the others had promised me.

They'd _promised_ me that I'd be changed into a vampire soon.

After all, I wasn't about to live without Edward in my life. I _couldn't_ live without him in my life.

Something happened, though—I don't know what, but Edward came to me in my bedroom on any regular day in June. Charlie still wasn't keen on who I'd chosen to be with (he was only trying to protect me), and so I had to be careful in making sure he'd thought I'd gone to bed so Edward could sneak over.

I remember everything about that night. The moment Charlie had gone to bed in his room, I glanced at my window expectantly, impatiently for my love to come to me.

And he did come. The statuesque Adonis stood before me within seconds, and took my breath away (like he always did). I met his eyes briefly before crossing to him and flinging my arms around his neck. He smelled so nice. "Edward," I breathed, "I've missed you."

I could feel his lips curving into an upward arc as he leaned his head on my hair. "What, I've been out of your sight for two hours? Honestly, Bella."

I rolled my eyes and pulled away so I could gaze into his own. Topaz. He'd hunted only a few days ago, so hunger didn't linger there. Instead I saw something troubling. Something bothering him, despite his playful words just moments before. I heaved a sigh and took Edward's hand, leading him over to my bed. I plopped down and waited for him to sit as well.

He didn't.

Edward stood near my bed, my hand still intertwined with his fingers, and I stared at him. "Something wrong with my bed?" I asked, puzzled. Normally I could figure out what was going through his mind, but not then.

He didn't speak.

"Okay, then…" I said, an eyebrow lifting. "Look, if you're not going to talk--"

"It's not that, Bella."

"Then what is it?" I questioned, removing my hand from his and placing it in my lap. My legs were folded Indian style on top of my bedspread. "You've been acting like this for days now. I asked Alice if she knew what was going on with you and she tried to change the subject. Is this about you changing me?"

Ah, I'd finally gotten around to the subject he'd been waiting for. Edward's eyes were fierce, and any other person in their right mind should've been scared at the heat erupting from those irises--but not me.

"Bella," he began, finally perching at the edge of my bed, "I can't. I can't change you." He sounded defeated.

I bit my lower lip in an attempt to think of something to reply with. "We've already been through this, Edward." I paused. "Either you change me, which is what I want, or I'll ask Carlisle to do it. One way or the other I'm _going_ to become a vampire."

Vampire.

I still couldn't say that word without grinning inwardly. It was surreal how much I'd been exposed to since I'd move to the small town of Forks, Washington. Vampires, Werewolves… I should've been dead due to all of the danger I was prone to attracting.

But Edward had always been there to protect me. Well, almost always.

"Please, Bella," Edward said to me, "I don't… what can I possibly say to you that will make you change your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Stubborn as ever," Edward mumbled angrily.

"You love me for it," I countered.

He glared at me in an annoyed fashion. I loved that look. I loved everything about him.  
"Bella, listen to me," he said, a note of frustration hidden well within his tone. "I love you."

My eyes widened. I was beginning to suspect that the vampire issue was the only issue wafting around. "I love you too, Edward."

He held up a slender finger to silence me. "I love you, Bella, but… I know… I know I promised to be here with you forever, and I know I promised that I would never leave you like I did before--"

I clutched at my chest with a balled fist, my heart hammering wildly within the cages of my lungs. "No," I breathed. "No… Edward, stop right now."

But he didn't.

"The Volturi won't be bothered with you so long as I join them. I can convince them to leave you be, I know I can--"

"You can't do this to me, Edward." Panic washed over me. The last time he'd left, it… I couldn't go through that again. "You can't leave me!"

Edward's face was carved into perfect determination. He was bent on protecting me, even if it meant we had to be apart. "I talked to Carlisle about it, and even though he doesn't agree, he said it was up to me. I think that… I _know_ that if I join the Volturi, I can convince them to leave you alone. Bella, it's for the best. If I can do anything to preserve your soul, I'm going to do it."

I couldn't believe him. "Edward Cullen," I whispered, my eyes welling up. I didn't want to cry, but I was pretty sure I was going to. I could feel my whole body starting to shake in tiny convulsions as I realized truly what he was saying. "The Volturi'll find me even if you're not here. The only way to take care of the problem is to change me."

"No."

Edward was being firm on the matter.

My voice cracked when I spoke next, the fear of him leaving intensifying. I hadn't felt like that in what seemed like forever, and I didn't like it one bit. "I can't lose you again, Edward. I… I don't… I can't live without you."

Inwardly I knew how corny that sounded, but it was the truth. I'd been an empty shell those months when he and his family has been away. The only reason I'd been somewhat coherent was because of Jake, and now even he wasn't talking to me.

Edward's face looked pained; his mouth was slightly open, pointed down in a tight scowl. I could tell that he knew what I'd said was true, and I could tell he wasn't happy that I wasn't going along with what he was saying.

"You will live," he said quietly, his eyes focused intently on the floor. "If you were to do anything to harm yourself, what would that do to Charlie? And Renee? Bella, you'll live. Life will go on for you."

I felt as though I was going through a bout of de ja vu. Hadn't he said something like that the last time he'd left?

_"You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

"I don't care about anything except being with you, don't you get it?!" I bellowed, though I immediately regretted it. The two of us froze as we heard a shift come from Charlie's room, and then another loud snore.

We were safe.

I resumed my yelling, though it was considerably quieter. "Don't you understand, Edward? I love you!"

He sighed and stood up. "Sometimes, Bella," he said, and for the first time his voice sounded vulnerable and soft, "love just isn't enough."

"That's bull and you know it."

Edward chuckled once and turned to face me. My body was undoubtedly still shaking, but it didn't phase him one bit. "Bella, I'm doing this for us. You will see that someday, I hope. And besides, loving me and me being here will only hold you back from other… opportunities out there."

I hesitated, figuring I knew what was coming next. "Like what?"

Edward sent me a look. "The saying 'there are plenty of fish in the sea' seems oddly appropriate right now," he said.

I closed my eyes for a moment, hoping--no, praying--that I was just having another one of my more imaginative nightmares, but when I opened them, I was still there. My breathing became jagged, uneven.

This couldn't be happening.

"Please," I begged, "don't do this."

Edward looked away as though he couldn't take in anymore of my break down. "I have to, Bella," he murmured. "I'm not going to lose you." He was silent for a moment, and then continued. "I've expressly forbade Carlisle and the others to change you, and--"

"You mean they aren't leaving with you?"

He shook his head. "They're comfortable. Carlisle and Esme are content with how things are going and they like it here. The others don't want to leave, either."

I swallowed one of the lumps that had risen in my throat. Alice would be here still. I could go to her if Edward left, and she'd tell me where he was. I knew she would. I turned my attention back to Edward. "So, that's it, then? You're just going to leave me even though you promised me you wouldn't?"

Edward nodded mutely.

There was a long silence then, only interrupted by the dry sobs I was emitting every few seconds. My world was once again crashing down upon my head, and there was nothing I could do about it. I wouldn't be able to stop him even if I had the strength. _It will be as if I'd never existed._

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I spoke. It was strange because I didn't even recognize my own voice. It was... weak. Fragile. "Edward," was all I managed to utter.

His ocher eyes bore into my own, and he understood. I was letting him go.

In that one moment, Edward moved so that he was in front of me, his lips pressed against mine. I fought back the intense urge to cling to his cold, marble body, and I savored his touch. His smell. This was his goodbye to me.

He pulled away, and then he was gone.

I never saw Edward again after that.

That first week I kept going to the Cullen's place and begging Alice to tell me where he was, but she wouldn't. She said that he wouldn't want her to. I could respect that, but... no, I couldn't. Alice had known how much Edward meant to me, and yet she continued to refuse my pleas. All I wanted to know was where he was traveling to, whether he'd joined the Volturi, and if he was even thinking of returning to me.

Eventually, Alice stopped calling.

The Cullens moved away.

And I was alone.

About a year after Edward left me, I started dating Jacob Black. Charlie and Billy couldn't have been more happy about the match up, and I was sure that Jake was beyond euphoric... but I wasn't really in love with him. I was pretending in order to hide the constant pain I felt. I was pretending so I would have something else to dream about instead of waking up in the middle of the night screaming.

And it wasn't that I didn't care for Jake. I did love him. He was my best friend, my confidanté. I just... even now, twenty years and two children later, I still think of him.

No matter what Edward thought about the human memory, I will never forget _him_.

And I'll always be waiting for him.

Always.


End file.
